Talking to Strangers
‘Hello?’
‘Hi — is this Mira?’
‘Who’s this?’
‘Yeah, sorry, it’s Tony. Bit random. My mate James — barman at the Two Crowns — gave me your number?’
‘Big fella, terrible jokes, gives my number to strangers?’
‘Yeah, that’s the one.’
‘Hmm.’
‘He said you work in healthcare and might not mind a quick question. NHS wait times are murder today.’
‘Oh, that’s a good line.’
‘No, it’s not like—’
‘Never share your sorrows with a bartender. That bastard.’
‘I know this isn’t how it’s meant to work.’
‘Whatever. Go on, then.’
‘It’s about my eye. It’s really swollen. Everything’s gone a bit blurry.’
‘Since when?’
‘Two days ago.’
‘Other symptoms?’
‘It’s mostly just — sorry. I’m bothering you, aren’t I?’
‘You just stopped me nodding off. Double shift.’
‘You a doctor, then?’
‘Yes, me a doctor — why are you laughing?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You were hoping I’m a nurse, weren’t you? Little white outfit, very caring?’
‘Haha, no. Promise.’
‘Liar.’
‘Just reminded me of someone who used to do that.’
‘Do what?’
‘The you/me thing. It’s actually not funny.’
‘A friend?’
‘A girl from school.’
‘So not a friend, then.’
‘She was more of a loner, so…’
‘I know that type. Bit strange.’
‘I’d sometimes see her at weekends, on my way to the pub — pacing up and down the street. Always up and down, like there were walls or something.’
‘So definitely strange.’
‘A bit. Maybe. I don’t know.’
‘Huh.’
‘This is actually a weird story.’
‘I’m listening.’
‘I hated English. Wasn’t the most attentive student.’
‘You mean you were a bit of a handful?’
‘I guess. My teacher made me swap seats and I had to sit next to her for the rest of term. I don’t know who started it, but we began scribbling comments in the margins of whatever text we had to read in class.’
‘What comments?’
‘Just little remarks on especially daft passages. Miranda was hilarious. Dark humour.’
‘Miranda!’
‘Yeah. Anyway, we wrote notes too. Observations. Thoughts. Random bits, really. She told me she wanted to move to London as soon as A-Levels were over. Get away. Start fresh.’
‘You remember a lot…’
‘It kinda threw me when she moved.’
‘Oh.’
‘And we never even talked outside school. But I always wanted to — god, I’ve never told anyone.’
‘Yes?’
‘I always wanted to… properly hold her.’
‘…’
‘I told you it’s weird.’
‘No.’
‘It is.’
‘It’s really not, Nino.’
‘Fine, you’re the doctor.’
‘Right… erm, okay, so about your eye. How does—’
‘Wait. You called me Nino.’
‘Did I?’
‘No one calls me Nino anymore. Who told you — did James—’
‘I started it.’
‘Come again?’
‘The commenting. It was on that bizarre Vaseline bit in Of Mice and Men. Remember?’
‘…’
‘Hello?’
‘Fuck.’
‘Sorry, I probably should’ve—’
‘Yeah, you bloody well should’ve!’
‘I’m sorry—’
‘I feel like a right idiot now.’
‘Listen, I—’
‘Bloody hell. Okay, I think I’ll leave you to it.’
‘Nino.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘Yes, Miranda?’
‘Still got that glove fulla Vaseline?’
